And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
