youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
