Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
