I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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