if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I am one with the molecules
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
