I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
