There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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