Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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