he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
