Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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