i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
