How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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