i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just high enough for therapy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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