Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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