she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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