I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
