We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
