zippers are such a cool invention
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just found puke in my bra..
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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