That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
