No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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