people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
