he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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