Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
