Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
