I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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