I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
