I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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