oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
