Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
