This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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