I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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