We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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