I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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