So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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