Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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