We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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