He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
