That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
