Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
