dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
