I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
