people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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