I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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