just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
