got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
