i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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