called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
