But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
