just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
