Already got asked if we're dating
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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