your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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