my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
