dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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