I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
