my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
