WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
