You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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