That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
