Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
