Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
drinking out of a sandbucket again
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
