careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
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will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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