wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
