Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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