never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
