I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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