I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
