I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
