I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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