I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
