she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sorry about my life...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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